Mother’s Day often generates images of flowers, cards, chocolates and time with family. However, for bereaved mothers, those images may turn into painstaking reminders of the loss of their child. The day could feel profoundly isolating to a bereaved mum, watching loved ones walking tenderly around you and the elephant in the room.
Grief doesn’t follow a calendar, so it will not know to be silent on Mother’s Day. Grief often feels the hardest in those moments when the world around you is smiling or celebrating, yet you stand still.
Many people believe grief and joy are two separate feelings that cannot coexist. However, there is space for both feelings and they can indeed sit side-by-side, without the uninvited presence of guilt creeping in. One moment, you find yourself crying at breakfast, wishing you could call them down one last time before they’re late for school. Shortly followed by laughter as you remember a silly story or funny faces that would show up at the most awkward moments.
For those who have lived through profound loss, allowing both emotions to coexist is healing. Allowing yourself to feel everything without judgment transforms the day from something to endure into a sacred space for remembrance.
No matter how complicated the day may look or feel, Mother’s Day is an opportunity to honour love. Whether through personal rituals, speaking with a friend or loved one, or giving yourself permission to grieve, please remember your feelings are valid, and you are not alone.
The love a mother has for her child never weakens, and that love merits recognition, celebration, and honour, even through the pain.
At 2wish, we have embraced the Sanskrit word, “vilomah,” which translates to, “against the natural order,” to identify a bereaved parent; there is no English word that gives meaning to a parent whose child had died. It’s a complicated concept wrapped up in a small, but powerful word. A loss changes a parent’s identity and existence forever.
On Mother’s Day, we invite you to wear your star lapel badge, as a symbol of your identity of a vilomah, and we hope you find a quiet moment in the day to honour yourself.
Immediate Support Coordinator - Merseyside
