There are days after a bereavement when thinking about next week, next month or next year feels impossible.
People may tell you that time heals, that things will get easier, or that you need to stay strong. While often well-meaning, those words can feel a million miles away from how you’re feeling right now.
If you’ve lost a child, partner, parent, sibling or someone important to you, today isn’t about being strong. It’s not about moving on. It’s not even about having a plan.
It’s about getting through today. And sometimes, that’s enough.
Grief doesn’t follow a timetable. Some men feel overwhelming sadness. Others feel numb. Some cry. Some don’t. Many experience grief through anger, exhaustion, poor concentration, physical symptoms or a need to keep busy. There is no right way to grieve. If today feels difficult, it doesn’t mean you’re doing grief badly. It means you’ve experienced a significant loss.
When we’re grieving, we often expect too much from ourselves. Today, lower the bar. Ask yourself: Have I got out of bed? Have I had a drink of water? Have I eaten something? Have I taken any medication I need? Have I left the house or opened a window? When grief is heavy, small things become big achievements.
Many men instinctively cope by throwing themselves into work, practical tasks or responsibilities. While keeping occupied can provide temporary relief, constantly staying busy can sometimes leave little room to acknowledge what you’re carrying. Today, try giving yourself ten minutes. Sit quietly. Take a walk. Look at photographs. Write down some thoughts. Say your loved one’s name out loud.
You don’t need to run a marathon. Just move. A short walk around the block, time in the garden, or a gentle stretch can help release some of the tension, frustration and restlessness that grief can bring. The goal isn’t fitness. The goal is simply to keep going.
Not everyone. Just one person. One text. One phone call. One message. One conversation. You don’t have to pour your heart out. You can simply say: Today is a difficult day. Connection does not have to be complicated.
One of the most common struggles for bereaved men is comparing their response to somebody else’s. You are not behind. You are not failing. You are grieving.
Light a candle. Listen to their favourite song. Visit a meaningful place. Wear something that reminds you of them. Tell someone a story about them. Love doesn’t end because someone dies. The relationship changes, but the connection remains.
You do not need to have the rest of your life figured out today. You only need to get through today. Some days that will feel manageable. Some days it won’t. Both are normal.
If you’re reading this while carrying the weight of bereavement, here’s something worth remembering: The fact that you’re still here today means you’ve already survived every difficult day that has come before it.
Grief is not something that can be fixed, overcome or left behind. It is something we learn to live alongside, one day at a time.
So if all you can do today is take the next small step, that’s enough.
At 2wish, we understand the impact of sudden bereavement and provide support without judgement, pressure or expectation.
Take that first step today. Contact 2wish and let us help you through the next one.
Head of Marketing & Communications
